You are currently browsing the category archive for the 'Drowning' category.
It’s a day filled with slow news.I must have yawn a hundred times when something happened. I was just skimming through the pages of a major philippine daily when something caught my eyes. i was thinking if my eyes just played a trick on me again or have I just read a title that would shake me age to the core? I have to double back to the previous page, and there it was. A new article with a title that I have prayed for so long. it reads: Flash: Eraserheads reunite!
My hunger vanished. Eraserheads will be coming together, at least for one night. August 30, 2008 at the CCP Open grounds. The article mentioned that it took one big company to organize the reunion. the company is still not named. Whoever that company is. Thank You!
This is the stuff that wet dreams are made of. 
I look forward.
Honestly, I was never a big Incredible Hulk movie fan but I grew up with the comics. The big mean green monster is one of my favorite, along with the superman comic series. When I saw Lou Ferrigno’s movie version of the hulk I cringe, that is not the hulk I was expecting, then I saw Eric Bana’s version. despite a decent CGI, Honestly, I was disappointed. I have been following the comic version of the hulk, and the more you read the comics the the more you see what the movie lacks.
I went to see the new Incredible hulk movie today. Starring Edward Norton, I was expecting another disappointment yet I have to see the movie. So as the movie began, I was a little apprehensive. I was hoping for a better plot this time but I am also careful not to hold my hopes high. As the plot unfolds, I began to relax, it’s as near to the story line as it could get.
Unlike the Eric Bana version, the new hulk movie did not put the fixated Gen. Thaddeus “thunderbolt” Ross in the center of the movie, Instead, they let the Hulk face a bigger villain in Emil Blonsky a.k.a abomination. It adds to the thrill of the movie, at least the hulk could play the part of an underdog and the writer did not rely on having the hulk smash as many tank as he could to sell the story .
It also answers one of the greatest mystery in the Incredible Hulk story. That is to understand why on earth does the pants stay where it should be when the rest of the hulks clothing is shredded into strips every time Bruce Banner turns into the Hulk. On the movie, Banner uses stretchable material twice his normal size for a pants just in case he turns to the green monster.
Adding twist to the story is the cameo appearance of the Iron Man at the end of the movie. well maybe, not the Iron Man persona but Tony Starks. At the end of the movie, Starks approached Gen. Ross in a bar and said the they are putting together a team. What team?
If you have seen the Iron Man movie and was patient enough to wait in the theaters until the final credits have rolled, you will understand what I am saying. at the end of the credit roll, the movie shows Tony Stark going home only to fine someone waiting for him, this is how the final dialogue went.
Tony Stark: Jarvis.
Jarvis : [distorted] Welcome home, Sir
[Tony notices a figure by the window]
Nick Fury: “I am Iron Man…” Think you’re the only super hero in the world? Mr. Stark, you’ve become part of a bigger universe. You just don´t know it yet.
Tony Stark : Who the hell are you?
[The man walks into the light]
Nick Fury : Nick Fury, Director of S.H.I.E.L.D.
Tony Stark: Uh-huh
Nick Fury : I’m here to talk to you about the Avenger Initiative.
The avenger initiative is refering to The Avengers, A team of superheroes much like the DC comic’s Justice league. The Avenger’s is the Marvel Comics version. The cameo appearance of stark in the Hulk movie is part of the effort to establish the so called Marvel Universe. Iron Man and The Incredible Hulk might just be the beginning of things to come.
Walang magawa sa bahay. Dinampot ko yung inaamag nang diyaryo sa ilalim ng lamesita. Pinagpag ang alikabok sa papel. sumandal sa sofa sabay tingin sa front page. Pohta…mukha ni Gloria. Umayos ng upo. Binuklat and diyaryo sa bandang gitna. Holdapan dito, patayan doon. tarages iba na talaga and past time ng mga tao ngayon. Nakakasulasok, nakakainis ang mga balita. Perepareho ang tema ng balita araw-araw iba-iba lang ang pangalan. kaya tuloy nakukuntento na lang ako sa inaamag kong diyaryo. kahit ilang siglo na ang nakalipas mula nung bilhin ko ito, okay pa rin. palitan mo lang ang pangalan ng mga pinatay at pumatay, ang nagnakaw at ninakawan. ang mga pulis na holdaper…eerrr.. ang mga pulis at mga holdaper pala, current events na ulit ang laman ng diyaryo ko.
Sa may kalagitnaan ng diyaryo, may balita tungkol sa panukalang ipatupad ulit ang Death Penalty dito sa Pinas. Ayos, kahit papaano may gud news sa diyaryo. dapat nang matagal ibinalik ang death penalty na yan eh. para medyo nakapag-umpisa na tayong magbawas ng ilang demonyo dito sa lupa. pero siyempre hindi rin maalis ang mga pro-life movement na humaharang sa panukala. Hindi mo rin sila masisisi, may rason din sila kahit hindi ako sangayon minsan. Sabi nga ng hinayupak na si Annie, kaya daw may kulungan para mabigyan ng chance na magbago ang mga nakagawa ng krimen. minsan baluktot na katuwiran yun. hindi lahat ng kaso eh, shoplifting lang o di naman kaya eh jaywalking lang. kung ganyan lang ang mga kaso okay lang ang preso. Pero kung ang kaso eh, murder o mas masahol… rape o di naman ay pedopilya, hindi na makukuha sa preso yan. hindi ako sangayon, kahit isumbong mo pa ako kay father.
Kaya dumadami ang krimen kasi parang sobrang linient ng batas. Sabihan mo ang rapist ng “hoy pohtanamoka… 30 years ka sa preso ngayon with hard work” siguro ang isisagot niya sayo eh “carry lang” tarages. Sabi nga ni Ra’s Al Ghul; Crime cannot be tolerated. Criminals thrive on the indulgence of society’s understanding.
Kung tutuusin mas maayos-ayos na ngayon kesa sa dati. Lethal Injection na ang ginagamit. Hindi tulad dati na electric chair o firing squad. Kung ako lang ang masusunod, and dapat sa mga pedopayl eh ihawin ng buhay tapos ipakain sa buwaya.walang kapatawaran bwahahahaha.
Minsan parang ang rason pa ng iba para harangin ang pagbabalik ng death penalty eh dahil hindi daw makatao. paksyet. hindi makatao?!!!! tangenang yan. ang kaso eh gang rape, pagkatapos pagpasapasahan yung babae, pinagsasaksak pa. tapos pag hahatulan sila na tutusukan ng karayom na may lason ang tawag ng mga ultra rightist eh “hindi makatao” naknang bibeng duling.
Anyway…have you heard of Autoerotic asphyxia? ito yung orgasm habang sinasakal ang tao. habang humihigpit ang pagkakasakal nagkakaroon ng oxygen deprivation sa utak causing hypoxic euphoria resulting to sexual gratification. una itong nadiscover nung usong uso pa ang lynching. napansin na yung ibang binibigti ng dahan dahan eh nagkakaroon ng erection o kadalasan ay orgasm. tanungin moko? ano naman ang kinalaman nito sa death penalty? ang sagot? bakit hindi na lang death penalty by strangulation ang isabatas dito sa pinas para sa nga nagkasala ng rape at pedopilya. Naliban sa mura ng gastos dito compared sa lethal injection (na gumagamit ng chemical) or electic chair (gumagamit ng kuryente… natural, electric chair nga eh! bobo!). dito tali lang ang katapat. Hindi na siguro magrereklamo ang mga ultra right civil right groups. biruin mo, isa sa mga rason kaya nagawa nila ng krimen ay sexual gratification tapos mamamatay sila na sexually gratified. di ba?
nuff said.
For the likes of me who toil the midnight oil, literally, rest (a.k.a. sleep) is sacred. Call it blasphemy all you want but I care a rat’s ass about it. These days, I would stay in my bed until my back blisters and my behind feels really sore. And honestly? I feel fine. I only have few regrets in becoming a self proclaimed weekend bum; I miss writing. Yet most of the time I still feel that I am blameless. If you stare at a 24 inch LCD monitor, 8 hours a day , 5 days a week for a job, you wouldn’t want to see a screen glow for the next two days. But, Today is an exemption.
I started my Sunday (my Sunday clock starts at 9:00 am) with the usual trip to nanay Carmen’s turo-turo. A nilagang baka breakfast (Nanay Carmen’s especialty) every Sunday has become part of my routine. upon entering the carinderia, I waved at Nanay Carmen and give her the cutest school boy smile I could muster. She waved back at me but I noticed that the smile is not like what it used to be. Nanay Carmen is at her early 60’s. But despite the age, she still keeps a lively disposition in life. She loves to joke around, and calls me anak (like she does with almost everyone she likes).
It’s almost 3 years now that I frequent Nanay’s turo-turo. during those days when I was thinking that Manila is to congested for me and it’s nights are to gloomy, Nanay is one of those few people who showed me otherwise. Part of the few people is Tuying, a 7 years old son of a drunkard. I met Tuying one rainy September afternoon of 2005. It was must be a Sunday then because I’m at nanay’s place. I was at the middle of my steamy nilaga when a boy approached my as he did with everyone else in the place. he stood in front of my table and said “Kuya penge ng pera,” the tone is courteous. It must be a day after payday then that I felt generous. Most of the time, I would just say “wala akong pera, sorry”. That time I reached inside my pocket and gave him a five peso coin. After the boy left Nanay approached and sat at the available chair beside me. She told me the boy’s story. I learned that the boy is using the money for “baon” in school, that nanay let him eat the turo-turo everyday, That the boy’s mother is gone and his good for nothing father, as nanay would call him, is going. I don’t know but I feel impressed with the kid. With a life like that, ordinary kids should have given up schooling a long time, but not Tuying. He would go to school even if it means he have to beg his way to it. That was the beginning. I usually join the boy on his table when I come to the place and find him eating there as well (if he is not out begging for some money anywhere else). He talks a lot, but he also takes time to listen. A good sign of intelligence. He loves to joke around. He told me a lot of corny joke that you could only expect from a kid. The jokes eased the loneliness in me somehow. He is street smart, with the kind of life he has, he needed to be.
Today, In the middle of consuming my steamy nilaga, as I’ve done a hundred times before, I can’t help but to glanced at every table. Nanay approached my table and sat beside me, like she did a hundred times. She put her gentle hand over my arms and said “kailangan mo na ulit masanay kumain mag-isa tuwing linggo”, I looked at her face puzzled, she have this pained look painted on her usually smiling eyes. She told me that Tuying passed away last thursday, I was in shock. Other datails about Tuying’s passing escaped my understanding. I did not ask any question. All I understood is that he came to Nanay’s place after school with a fever. That Nanay took him to the hospital, That Nanay was there with him during those critical times and his turo-turo was closed. That some of the medicine that Tuying needed is so expensive and the Government hospital doesn’t have it available. It happened so fast, Tuying left this world a little after 4:00 AM last Thursday.
The nilagang baka all of the sudden tastes so bland. but what left bad taste to the mouth is that fact that a hundred of Tuyings are lying in government hospitals right now. With no medicines for them in the hospital pharmacy and with no money to buy it with outside. They will go back to search for answer in the only place in the hospital where service is for free, the chapel. Yet even that place won’t provide answers, it provides only hope. And hope is not something you could always hold on to. In Tuying’s case, Nanay could only do so much.
It is depressing to think that while our senate continuously talk about corruption in public television, we still can’t do anything about it. Hundreds of Tuyings are dying everyday because the money that should go to the coffers of the hospitals to buy equipment and medicines went to the pockets of officials who is worthy of public execution. We all know that a crime of corruption has been committed but what other things have we done so far aside from senate inquiry in aid of legislation? None! Our call for change has fallen on deaf ears. Senator’s who have expressed their willingness to run for the Presidency on 2010 is cautious in a making a stand on this issue. Is it to early to Sirs? What hope does the weak and underprivileged of this country have when the good people they believe in has lost their courage to fight for the right cause.
What do we have left? what do we have left but ourselves. Let this be an appeal, a call to arms. A call to arm ourselves with enough tenacity to keep fighting for justice when it seem lost. A call to arm ourselves with enough vigilance to keep us grounded from what is right and wrong. A call to arm ourselves with enough prayer to keep us guided. and a call to arm ourselves with enough hope that our heart will stand his ground. A time might come when our patriotism will waiver and our courage will fail, but it it will not be in this time. Not in our generation. A call to arm ourselves with enough fortitude to respond just in case history summon us to come together again.
Wake up from this deep slumber, I will…
It was 4:00 PM. Everyone in PBCom building was in a hurry to go home. Our training class was dismissed earlier than usual. The inter-faith rally has begun. The management is worried of hooliganism, the rest of us was just worried about walking the distance from PBCom tower to the MRT station in Ayala.
I packed my things, picked my back pack ang head towards the exit. speeches ang yells from the nearby Paseo de Roxas greeted me as I stepped out. Headed towards the underpass and was determined to start the long walk.
As we pass through Paseo, Enoch, a co-worker asked me if we could stay for a while and listen to what the politicians are saying. I was really not in the mood for hanging around that day. At the same time, I am not interested in listening to politicians saying what has been said before. The same banana, different day. You just get tired of it. At the same time, it actually feels like watching a comedy seeing Erap egging a President to step down (Whether that president was actually elected by the majority or won the presidency by fraud). I Said no, but Enoch is persistent. Eventually, I agreed. As we move forward to get a better look at the crowd, I was amazed. It’s a sea of humanity.
It has been a while since I last attended a protest rally. That was way back college years when I was still an active member of the College Editors Guild of the Philippines (CEGP) Cagayan Valley. Along the way things happen, somehow, you get disillusioned or simply got tired of things. That was the time when you turn your back and moved on.
I was beginning to feel dizzy, I was about to tell Enoch that I have to go, but he’s busy talking with someone. Eavesdropping to their conversation. I overheard that some protesters were unable to join the rally due to different reasons. Some were stopped at Laguna by LTO because of the Jeepneys permit to enter the metro and other groups were stopped because of phoney reasons.
I was thinking, If only the president allows the people accused of involvement in this multi-billion peso scam to come out in the open and try to clear their names, then there is no need for protests like this. Why is the Government so afraid of people coming together? Was it because there no longer any doubt in the mind of the populace that there are truths with Lozada’s testimony. Is the goverment (especially malacañang) beginning to fear its own shadow?
Right then and there, I feel like a college student again. Maybe, if the mind begins to forget, the heart never ceases to remember. Is my respect for my government taking a back seat if I ask myself how much I love my country? The answer is without a doubt, YES!
During times like this, being neutral is a mortal sin. One needed to know if they are black or white. There is no middle ground for truth.
Enoch looked at me and said ” Tara na, malayo pa lalakarin natin” I looked at him and said, “una ka na bro, Maiiwan muna ako dito”.
I resigned from may last Job. Wahoooo!!!! I will start working with a new company next monday. Wahooo ulet. Ang sarap magbakasyon, kaso lang napabayaan ko ang mahal kong blog ng ilang dekada. Kaya after the longgggggg hibernation. start na ulet.
Hindi ko lam kung paano magsimula. nakalimutan ko na yata magsulat. Ito ang masamang dulot ng bakasyon, inaagiw lahat pati utak. naalala ko tuloy yung kwento ng pinsan ko dati. kasi daw nakalimutan nung BF ng bestfriend niya yung bestfriend (yung gf ng bf..Malabo ba? yaan mo na.) niya after ng mahabang bakasyon. Nak ng bibeng duling, hindi yun dahil sa bakasyon. malamang dahil yun sa monay na iba ang timpla. pag nakalimutan ka ng BF mo, ibig sabihin nun malapit na matapos ang show. Okay?!!! Kasi kung iisipin mo ng mabuti, Para mo na ring sinabing tinanggihan ng askal yung hopyang tinapon mo sa kanya, di ba? unless nakatikim ang hinayupak na askal ng Alpo.
Ang hirap mag-isip pag ganito. parang kang lasing na hindi mo maintindihan. Alam mo ang ginagawa mo pero di ka makapag-isip ng matino. Ilang oras kang nakatitig sa monitor pero. Ang mga kasambahay mo nakatingin na sayo, nagaalala na. Siguro naiisip nila nasisiraan ka na ng bait, nakatitig sa blankong screen na parang nagbabasa pero walang nakasulat. Mapagbibintangan ka pang sira-ulo ng di oras. Parang yung lalakeng may problema sa pag-iisip sa probinsya dati. Walang direksyon ang lakad, walang tino and ginagawa. Minsan nabuhusan yun ng beer dahil bumangga sa mesa ng Ihaw-ihaw, basang basa ang pobre. Sa kamalas malasan hinuli siya nung baguhang pulis sa pag-aakalang lasing lang hinayupak dahil hindi deretso ang lakad at sa pagaakalang nagwala ito sa ihaw ihaw at amoy alak. Kinulong hanggang mawala daw ang kalasingan. dalawang araw ang pobre sa kulungan, tinatanong na nung pulis kung ano ang ininom niya kasi dalawang araw na hindi pa rin sober ang hinayupak. Saka lang siya pinalabas nung nalaman niyang baliw yung ikinulong. Bobo.
Tangena, wala talaga akong maiisip isulat. Kailangan yata ng utak ko ang isang matinding overhaul. Maraming Ideya ang naglalaro sa utak pero walang lumalabas. Parang yung gulong ng tricycle ni Maryong Pururut na kapitbahay namin nung maliit pa ako. Tatlong gabi ko din pinagtangkaang pasingawin ang hangin sa pito ng hinayupak na tricycle. Ang Dahilan? Dahil sa pagpapahabol niya sa amin sa aso niyang galing sa impyerno pa ang breed kasi nalaman niyang kami pala ang umuubos sa bunga ng tanim niyang makopa. Muntik makagat si Kokoy. Tatlong gabi ko pinagpuyatan ang maghintay na makatulog sila para matanggalan ko ng hangin ang gulong ng demonyong tricycle. Pero tatlong gabi ko nang pinag-aaralan ayaw talagang sumingaw. frustrated talaga ako. Puno ng hangin pero ayaw sumingaw. Sa ikaapat na gabi, di ko na pinagaksayahang paglaruan pa ang pito ng gulong. Tinusok ko na ng kutsilyo. Mas madali.
Ang ganda ng komparison pero ayaw kong gawin yun sa utak ko, hayaan ko na lang ang ideya sa loob lalabas din yan sa tamang panahon. Ayokong madaliin.
Wala talaga akong maiisip isulat. Di bale, bukas susubukan ko ulit.
Sabi nila, ang lamay sa patay ang isa sa pinakamalungkot na okasyong dinadaluhan ng mga tao. Maaring tama, maaring hindi. Pero sa maniwala ka’t sa hindi. Ang lamay ay hotbed ng maraming ideya. Bakit kamo?
-
Unlike sa party, hindi ka pwedeng hindi ka pwedeng magpatugtog ng old school rock sa lamay. isipin mo, kasagsagan ng iyak at ngawa ng mga kapamilya, bumibirit ka ng kantang Unforgiven by Metalicca. Hindi ba parang may mali?
-
Hindi ka rin pwedeng magsasaway ng modern dance sa gitna. Oo nga, maraming ilaw, pero hindi yun disco lights. ibang ilaw yun, kung mapapansin mo ang amoy, amoy kandila.
-
Tambayan ito ng mga sugarol at usisero. ibig sabihin, karamihan sa mga tao rito ay nag gagaling-galingan. Karamihan diyan mahilig magsabi ng, “Sabi ko na nga ba mali ang diskarte mo, dapat yung barahang yun ang itinapon mo, hindi ito” eh, tangena, ang lakas mag komento pero kaya lang naman naging usisero ang hinayupak kasi natalo na lahat ng pera niya. paksyet, daming salita.
To cut the long chase short, puro salita talaga ang nangyayari sa lamay. konting condlence sa tabi tapos sandamakmak na kwentuhan na ang mangyayari. Sa dami ng gustong magsalita, makakapulot ka talaga ng iba’t ibang ideya. may mga marurunong talaga, meron namang mga nagmamarunong.
Katulad na lang nung isang gabi, dahil siguro wala nang mapag-usapan sa lamay o dahil feeling ko lasing na ako sa dami ng kapeng barakong nainom namin, kung saan-saan na napadpad ang usapan. mula sa topic na kung sino ang pinaka seksing supermodel napunta ito sa usapang hayop. ang baba ng tinunguhan ng usapan.
Nabanggit ko kasi na gusto kong bumili ng aquarium. nabanggit ko rin na gusto ko itong lagyan ng goldfish at janitor fish. Sukat ba namang pagtawanan ako. tangena. paglasing ako sa kape, madali akong mapikon. Pero dahil sa lamay nga ang kinaroroonan namin, hindi ko na lang masyadong pinansin. Tinanong ko kung bakit siya natawa. ang sagot niya sa akin ay “Janitor fish ba ikamo? eh, yun na yata ang pinakatangang isda sa buong mundo eh, bakit ba gustong gusto ninyong mag-alaga ng bobong hayop ha?” dapat daw, aso na lang ang alagaan ko, yung matalinong pet. Sumagot ako, “kasi mababaw lang ako, mahilig din ako sa bobo. kita mo nga, gusto ko ring makipag-usap sa bobong tao, di ba?” kulang na lang dagdagan ko ng “pwede ba kitang maging pet?”. ewan ko kung hindi niya talaga naintindihan ang sinabi ko o talagang dedma lang ang hayop.
Wala akong pakialam kung bobo o matalino ang pet ko. eto ang listahan ng dahilan
-
Hindi ko siya uutusang maglaba
-
Hindi rin siya magtuturo ng calculus sa college
-
Hindi ko siya uutusang mamalengke
-
Ayoko ng pet na may malisya ang tingin sa tuwing nadadapa ako o nalalaglag ako sa hagdan.
-
Pet lang ang kailangan ko, hindi mayordoma.
Mas gusto ko ang bobong alaga. Okay????
Naisip ko, malungkot talaga ang lamay.
Imagine getting jailed for blogging.
Fouad Ahmed al-Farhan is a blogger that is currently in jail in Saudi Arabia. His crime? he criticized religious extremism. Nice! Say something against this religious zealots and you loose your freedom. You get a jail time for disagreeing with the politics of the ruling party. Well, for a place like Saudi Arabia, this incident will not be the first time. people get jail time for a lesser reason than blogging about religious extremism and about people close to the saudi Royal family for supporting it. With that said. let me just say; Saudi Arabia is no different to other countries that tolerates religious extremism, they never left the dark ages when it comes to matters of governance. In these countries, human rights is screwed in all sides.
Sometimes I wonder; Is religion a breeding pool for hate? people kill people because of Religion. How many times have we heard the word Jihad or Holy War in our lifetime? Too many that I loose count. It makes me want to puke everytime I hear these words. Using the name of God for terror is a disgusting.
I am a catholic by virtue of my birth and baptism. I was made to believe that Jesus Christ is God before I heard the name of Allah. I was trained to go to church every sunday. I learned the 10 commandments in school way before I heard the name of Islam as religion. I was in the 5th grade when I learned about the prophet Muhammad in our social studies. But is it my fault that i was born in a catholic community? That i never heard other religion until I was old enough to understand? No. Never.
Right now, somewhere on the other side of the world. A child named Abdullah is learning the Pillars of Islam. He is listening to someone teaching him the words of the prophet Muhammad. He will listen with all his heart and mind. He never heard of Jesus or Christianity yet but it doesnt matter. It will not make him a lesser man. Its not his fault. We christians doesn’t have the right to criticize his religious upbringing. the same way that our Muslim brothers never had the right to criticize us with ours.
A lot of Muslims, like Fouad knew how to respect religion. They understand that bloods needs not to be spilled to show faith. They openly criticize religios zealots and those that supports it to show that they are willing to cleanse that smudge on their religion that these zealots have shamelessly distorted. I salute them.
Its time to stop this savagery. Religion should not be used to breed such hatred. Enough blood has been spilled because God was called by another name. Enough!
Free Fouad!
Ang sarap bumiyahe sa EDSA nung Christmas, Walang traffic, walang kotongerong pulis na nagtatago sa gilig-gilid, madilim kaya hindi kita yung kulay pink na overpass. Ayos.
Pagkatapos ng party office napagtripan naming ng ibang kaopisina ang maglakad. Wala masayadong tao sa lansangan. Kumpyansa din kami na pati mga holdaper ay nakapagfile ng leave of absence sa date na yun. Kung ako ang papipiliin, mas gusto kong umuwi at magpasko na lang sa bahay kasama ang pamilya. Sa kasamaang palad, dineclare na critical working day ang December 24 ng gabi sa office. Kaya tangena,by crook or by crook ay pumasok kami sa trabaho. Pasalamat na lang ako na by 11:15 pinayagan na kaming umuwi.
Yung mga pagkain na inorder sa Max’s, and daming natira. Suspetsa ko pampalubag loob lang yun o di naman kaya ay part ng isang evil experiment ang lahat. Siguro naiisip nila “yaman din lang na papapasukin natin sila sa pasko, subukan kaya nating impatsohin ang mga yan, tingnan natin kung ano ang magyayari”. Sa awa ng diyos, wala namang namatay sa kabusugan.
Umuwi kaming may kanya kanyang bitbit ng plastic ng pagkaiin. Naisip ko; Ayos! May almusal ako bukas. Pagdaan naming sa may flyover sa Ortigas, nilapitan kami sa isang bata sabay extend sa kamay, humihingi ng limos. Binigyan ko siya ng sampung pisong barya, pagkakuha ng pera tumakbong palayo yung bata, palapit sa ibang taong hihingan ng limos.
Nakakalungkot na may mga ganito pa rin sa pasko, Naisip ko maswerte talaga ako, kasi kahit hindi ako ganoong kayaman, At least nabibili ko yung basic na pangangailangan ko. May pabaong cash gifts ang kumpanya, meron din namang gift cards at iba pang perks and freebies. Pagdaan daan namin sa may kariton, tinanong kami nung ale kung anong oras na, sumagot si Paul, “Alas dose pasado na po”. Ngumiti siya sa amin sabay sabi ng “Merry Chistmas” , tapos ay bigla niyang tinawag yung batang kanina lang ay binigyan ko ng sampung piso. Hindi naming maiwasan na sundan ng tingin yung ale. Paglapit nung bata, Bigla niya itong niyakap at hinalikan sa pisgi. Hindi naming marinig yung usapan nila pero nakita namain na pareho silang nakangiti na parang nagbibiruan. Hiningi ko yung supot ng pagkain ni Paul sabay lapit sa mag-ina at inabot yung mga supot. Nagpasalamat naman sila.
Habang papalayo ako sa mag-ina, naisip ko “Gaano ba ako kasuwerte o malas ba talaga sila?” Ako kumpleto nga ngayong pasko, regalo, bagong damit, pagkain pero malayo sa pamilya. Sila, walang ngang pera, hindi nakakain ng maayos pero may yakap at halik sa pisngi, isang bagay na hindi kelan man maipagpapalit sa anuman. Sinong maswerte sa gabing ito?
Napa-iling ako bigla. I finally understood why Christmas is usually defined with the word love. I am not a very religious person but I felt I understood the concept of equality that night. As we pass throught the EDSA shrine, I made a quick sign of the cross. Call it divine intervention, call it whatever you wish to call it, I made a quick prayer and said “tonight, the night of his birth, of all nights, we found ourselves equals. Thank you for the explanation”
My entire body is still sore from the long travel home. My left elbow, The one I dislocated some couple of years ago is aching due to the weather of Cagayan and partially due to some stupid reason when I fell off my seat inside the bus. Its a trip I’d rather forget in a day worth remembering. It is the day when Badoodles and His Bebe would exchange wedding vows.
I arrived at the Tuguegarao Cathedral at around 6:00 in the evening. The entire ceremony is about to kick off. The sponsors are ready for the entrance. I saw Badoodles standing infront of the pack. His face broke into a smile as he saw me approaching. But make no mistake, he is nervous. but come to think of it, who wouldn’t be nervous in their wedding day?. After a few laughs and some male-hormone-induced-verbal-fencing, I left him alone so he could do his thing.
I was standing alone at the back when I noticed that I wasn’t really dressed for the occasion. It is a formal attire accassion and guess what I was wearing. A rock shirt, jeans and a chuck taylor. Stupid me.
The ceremony is about to begin when the videographer asked me if I could help in opening the Cathedrals massive door. I asked what for? the door is already open. He said it’s for the effects later. The door would open and Jude will walk slowly towards the altar. I said “Ok. I’ll do it”. They closed the door when the wedding march began. Me and the guy in a polo shirt stood behind the doors. I peep through the gap to see if other people are still outside, Instead I saw the bride standing on the other side, too close to the door. She appears calm but she’s breathing deeply. I whispered through the gap.
Ice: Relax, everything will be fine.
Jude: Who’s that?
Ice: Just relax, its your day. You’re beautiful.
Jude: Ron? is that you. hahaha Ikaw nga, good you can make it.( she recognized my voice)
Ice: Didn’t I tell you I won’t miss this for the world?
Jude: Dapat lang! Dapat lang!
It’s then when the videographer gave the signal to open the door. Then their Magic moments began. It was a walk that could have taken eternity to walk. I was there when it all began. Jude was a friend and classmate during my Paulinian days in Tuguegarao. Badoodles on the other hand is a friend since my Louisian days (school hopping was my hobby then), He was my first editor-in-chief in the Louisian Courier. We’ve been in countless absences together. Series of bull session, spent hour in panciterias, we debated against each other during provincial debate series, shared secrets, went to conventions together, we entered the lair of the Cordillera Peoples Liberation Army together (along with Waki, ehem, Waki) for an interview and also because no school paper has done it before, we even worked in the same company after college days. if someone would ask me to describe badoodles during those days, I would definetely tell them “Ink runs in his veins”. He maybe, just maybe the best Student Editor that ever held the the top post of the Courier, Even better than me (considering that I thought myself to be the best editor already, nyahahaha).
Their wedding also became a sort of reunion for old school paper friends, Liza was there, so is Lance and Sofi and Jose. Javi and Maeng was also in attendance. The old naughtiness just began working its magic again as if no time was lost. It was fun. It’s always good to have old friends around. As the couple exchanges vows, I just can’t help but utter a silent prayer for them. These are good people who have some flaws like the rest of us, but still good people. They deserve to be happy. I whispered “Please make it work for them. With all my heart I want them to be happy. These two individuals are my friends”. I am happy for them.
And when I told them that I won’t miss their wedding for the world. I meant it.
(The photos are blurry but it served my purpose. Its not for me to show everything. If the couples wishes to show it to the world. It’s their option, afterall, It’s their moments)
Medyo frantic nanaman ako. Alas nueve ang pasok pero 8:30 na asa megamall pa rin ako para bumili ng regalo para sa aming Project; Christmas Smile. Asa climax na ako ng tulog ko ng bigla akong bulabugin ng tatlong sunod-sunod na txt message galing sa aking mahal na manager. Parepareho ang messages, tatlong beses lang isinend para wala akong excuse na hindi ko natanggap ang text message - Plis don’t forget to bring your gift for our gift giving at the orphanage. Ohmaygad, nakalimutan ko totally. Hindi tuloy naisama sa budget ko. Nagtext back ako, sinabing wala na akong pera. ang text back niya sa akin “‘lul mo, kahapon mo lang nakuha ang 13th month pay mo ah, basta bumili ka “
Ang mamahal ng mga toys sa toy kingdom. Pero dahil sa wala na ngang ibang choice, late na ako, walang ibang mabilhan na malapit, sumige na ako. P399.99 ang worth ng toy. Medyo umaray ang bulsa ko. Hindi ganoon kalaki ang halaga kaso wala lang talaga sa budget. Siguradong pansit canton ang lunch ko ng mga ilang araw nito.
Hingal Kabayo ako dumating sa ofis. Late pa din ako ng 5 minutes. Pohtek. Pagdaan ko sa cubicle ni Mommy Thelma, bigla itong pumito sabay sabi ng “Wow, sarap mong maging ninong, Toy Kingdom. Ako sa bangketa ko lang binili ito. siksti-payb pesos lang” Natigilan ako. P65.00, naknang bibeng duling akala ko ba…?. Sabi ng iba, binibiro lang daw ako nung sinabing P300 up ang worth. Ako naman itong si tanga, naniwala naman. Ang sama sa pakiramdan ng pinapasakay na sa kasamaang palad ay sumakay naman.
Tinanong ako ni manager kung bakit daw hindi ko binalot ang regalo ko. sabi ko “Gusto mo balik ako sa mega, ipabalot ko” tapos sabi ni Mommy Thelma wag na daw kasi medyo napamahal na ako sa presyo. Pumayag naman si manager. Ibibigay na lang daw na ganoon.
Naisip ko tuloy nung bata ako, wala akong laruang mamahalin. Kadalasan bigay lang ng mga tita. kung bilhan man ako ni mama, yung siguradong may sobrang pera talaga. sa tuwing pasko lang ako madalas nagkakaroon ng bagong laruan. Naalala ko yung excited na bata sa tabi ng Christmas tree na halos hindi mahintay ang christmas para buksan ang regalo. Binibigyan ako ng pera dati pero iba ang feeling ng magbukas ng regalo.
Bigla ako tinamaan ng kung ano. alam kong hindi yun konsensya kasi wala ako nun. pero tinamaan ako. Bigla akong bumaba. Bumili ako ng gift wrapper at scotch tape sa Mini Stop, additional 11 pesos ang nabawas sa pancit canton money ko. pero hayaan mo na, alam ko kung anong magic ang kapalit ng 11 pesos ko. Tumingin ako sa langit habang bumubulong ng “Lord, additional pogi points ‘to ha?”
I woke up around 4:00 AM. My XM Radio Online was playing Christmas carols. But something is missing. I am wearing shorts and an old sando, and it doesn’t feel right. It feels like I am missing a part of my very soul.
I grew up north, In Tuao, Cagayan Valley. Probably around 99.98% of the Filipinos haven’t heard the place. It’s a small laid back town near Tuguegarao City. Home to more than 26,000 people. If you happen to visit the Basilica Minore of the Lady of Piat, you will notice that the Basilica is overlooking sleepy old town that stand humbly between the mighty Cagayan River and the majestic mountains of the Kalingas and the Apayaos. That place is Tuao. Home of my childhood. Whose sun kissed soil was forever witness to centuries of perfect sunsets and of countless mist embraced dawns.
December is the time of the year when I usually drown myself to 3 layers of blankets and piles of pillows. When even the crickets would not sing their song because of the cold. When I feel happy lying in the dark listening to Christmas carols buried beneath the blankets.
Manila is whole different world for me. Though I’ve been here for a couple of years now. Manila is beautiful as it is stressful. I miss the morning fog of Cagayan. It’s chilly wind at dusk and the care free smiles of its people.
Every night, as the bus, taking me to work, was passing through Quezon Memorial Circle, where the trees stand proudly amidst the chaos that was Elliptical Road. I open the window and closed my eyes. I allowed the cool air to caress my face. I let the sensation take me to another place. Back to Cagayan, where the December chill could freeze ones soul into a state of childhood forever.
Ahh… How I yearn to be home.
Reading old inks
weathered papers touching my palm
old words written
fashioned during empty nights
old college poems
by old students all gone on
old rhymes I’ve read before
old rhymes I’m reading again
old memories flooding back
new smiles forming in
old names remembered
old places revisited in the mind
sometimes you’ll just wonder
though good new poems
printed on brand new pages
sound good and refreshing
it is those moments
embodied in those old college poems
I always come back to
(Warning: This is a futile attempt to understand the great mystery of the universe. if you wish not to subject yourself to the blabbering of a hopeless fool. It’s time to move to the next entry.)
I am a fool and I am writing. Let me write about something that has been discussed countless of times. Let me write about fate, A word I would never understand. Who else, but a fool like me would write about things he never understood. So I pray for your forgiveness for writing it and for writing it again. And I beg thee to give me a few ticks of your precious time. I’m writing about things you’ve read before. so listen now, I know how precious your time is.
I won’t pretend to understand what fate is all about. I won’t even bother to consult the dictionary to look for its definition, knowing that it will only give me the meaning in words and not in essence. The true meaning of words will vary depending on the person using this word. It vary, not because, we’re reading different books, many of us never had the opportunity to read one, but because we understood the same thoughts in different ways. It vary not because we sleep on different beds, some of us doesn’t have one to sleep on, but because we dream of different things. It vary not because we eat different foods, some of us have none to eat, but because we understand taste differently. This tastes or dreams or understanding is the rudder that stirs our choices. And because we understand and perceive differently, we react differently.
We see people do stupid things. Some people acts on impulse. Some people do crazy things that may seem to defy logic. Things that we thought impossible for people to do? But have you ever asked yourself what are possible and impossible? Our perception for possibility and impossibility depends on our knowledge and logic. but our knowledge and logic is not absolute, therefore, our grasp for what is possible and impossible is limited. Meditate on things you do not know, maybe the “Possibility” lies there.
I don’t know what my fate will be. I have a very shallow logic about matters concerning the mysteries of life. But let me speak with authority this time around. Please indulge me a few moments through the generosity of your soul, and let this fool speak with authority about some foolishness.
I only understand one thing. I am here because my choices lead me here. In the next few days I would make a decision that would change my life forever. What it is, is for me to keep (even fools are allowed to bury their own secrets). But I have this to say; My life is a roller coaster ride (maybe just like everyone else’s). I made huge mistakes in my life, and I do that a lot. A lot that if people actually learn from their mistakes, I would have been the smartest guy on the world. My fate is what I make. I’ve decided to make it so with the options I choose and the actions I made. No one made those choices for me. I choose to have it. Fate therefore my friends is where our choices take us.
Here is just a fool blabbering about fate. If you have heard this blabbers from someone else before, well then, perhaps I’m not the only fool around
Mga Komento