Category Archives: Reflections

In This Circus Called Life

boat-storm

Life can either make you or break you. That much we know. How you end up depends on how much pounding you took and how that pounding affected you. I have seen the strongest of man cower by merely the thoughts of storms and seen the weakest of them come out of the storm bruised, battered but stronger.

How old am I? Not old, but absolutely im not getting any younger. The heydays are several humps behind. I know there will be sporadic parties ahead but you won’t see me head banging anytime soon. in truth, Age doesn’t really mellow you down, maturity does. I’ve had my fair share of bruising and battering. Did i come out stronger? The truth is; I don’t know. I sure hope I did, or at least I will.

The thing about life is that ; the bruising and battering comes and go. Depending on the circumstances. The choices me make and the life we led creates a potent recipe of pounding and battering if you are not really careful or you really care less. The pounding comes in different strengths, this does not depend solely on how strong the hands that wields the hammer, it also depends on  how soft you are when you are pounded.  Like storms that comes in different strengths, we come out at the eye of the storm with different lesson learned.

The real journey begins after the storms. when you begin to take the initial steps. when you begin to pick up the pieces. little steps, piece by smaller piece. smirk, just a little smirk each day. strength comes with moving. Keep on moving until the steps becomes a journey, until the pieces becomes whole, until the smirk becomes a smile, until the smile becomes laughter, until laughter becomes life.

But until then…we keep moving.

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Reflection on Trust and Doubt

cracked

When you find your trust has been broken by people you cared for would you ever trust them again? It took me sometime to finally put this in to words for I was never one who could model for trustworthiness. So here it is: my reflection on Trust and doubts.

Trusting again is never easy. Once trust has been broken within a relationship, it becomes a choice between trying again or let it all go. The years you’ve spent together sometimes doesn’t necessarily bring you closer, sometimes the years you’ve spent together make things too ordinary, familiar and sometimes familiarity coupled with routine and ordinary breeds boredom. It is often when boredom strikes that trusts are broken.

The question is:  Will you choose to try again? And are you sure you want to try again? I have seen relationships torn by stories of betrayal and hampered by distrust. They tried going back together but trust once broken becomes a choice. There is no such thing as mending when it comes to trust. Trust is like a glass, once broken, mending it will not make it whole again. Trust becomes disposable once broken because a repaired trust would show crack and crack means it is fragile and it is just a matter of time before it breaks apart again.

Trust is different between the weak and the strong people. The weaker ones would attempt to repair,  the strong hearted people can discard old broken trust and replace it with a new one. Easier said than done but it is the only way to go. I heard people say it is never easy to bring back my trust once broken. That is correct; it is not easy so why try bringing it back. Try to trust anew. Fully.

Half trust is never a solution to anything in a relationship. It is either you trust or do not trust at all, there is no halfway, no half-baked attempts, no gray area. Trust is something that you give fully, not cracked or mended. Half trust means half doubt. Doubt is a parasite. A sliver of doubt could make every effort crumble down. No matter what you do doubt consumes absolutely once you give in to it. So it’s either you trust fully or let go. All your efforts will be in vain once mixed with distrust. All things that your partner does will be taken with distrust even the most innocent ones and that could be very stressful for you both. It will destroy the stuff you began to rebuild and you will find yourself with nothing to go on, only hate. And hate goes nowhere.

So trust or let go. Those are your two choices. If you choose to hold on let go of your doubt. Start fresh, take a leap of faith that you have both learned from your mistakes and this time you will both get it right.